Kerry Layne

I realized today that I have found a love that most people search for their entire lives. I have my everything all wrapped up into one amazing person. I have my boyfriend, my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my comedian, my family, my support, my therapist, my superhero, my cuddler, my confidant, and my partner in crime. I still can't believe that of all the people, he chose me. I know that most people assume that I've helped Layne into adulthood which is true, but I think if you were to really look inside of us you'd see how much more he has affected me. Until I met him, I never knew how much I had missed out on. I feel like he was the missing piece to myself. I have poured every ounce I have into him and let him experience all the ugly and horrible versions of myself and everyday he's still here. Everyday he tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. He forces me to be everything I ever hoped to be. I feel like a lifetime of servitude could never thank whoever dropped him into my life. He is every boy I ever dreamt about growing up. He's every prince charming, every fairy tale, and every happy ending. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for him. I'm so lucky to hold his hand while we face everything that life throws at us and to grow up together in the safety we've created for each other. I couldn't make it without him.

Paroxetine

This week I've found myself completely overwhelmed with feelings of social anxiety and a general sense of falling back into old trends. I worry why this is happening since I've been on my Paxil for a year and a half with no such issues. I don't want to have to go through the grueling process of weening myself off and adjusting my body to a new medication. The thought of this alone sends me into a fit of anxiety. I wonder if my body's given up reacting to it after so long? I've only had a few issues with it such as weight gain and if I miss a dosage, I get very ill. I have a feeling I'm going to have to buck up and take care of myself before it starts to bleed into other aspects of my life again. I need to try and a find a new doctor's office who can really work with me. I think part of my anxiety is the frustration I feel towards the clinic. My old doctor was the only reason I was able to conquer all of this in the first place and without him helping me, I feel a bit lost. It takes weeks to get into the clinic and then nobody seems to want to solve my problems. I'm going to dig a bit deeper into my health care options in regards to my plan and see if I can hunt somebody better down.
Until then, I apologize for any odd behavior. I'm not quite feeling like myself.